"Ah, here we are", he said smiling, as we stopped outside a house, "this is what I wanted to show you."
"Who lives here?", I asked Him, thinking that as crazy as this experience had been so far, essentially I'd not be surprised if he said Ezekiel.
"You", he answered. "This is yours. You live here. You will live here. This is your home that I have prepared for you."
I'll admit that I was floored for a moment. I was ready for Ezekiel, I was not ready for me. I always thought I was going to get a one bedroom flat in the bad area (or as bad as heaven gets) on some non-descript dirt road. You know, the housing people decide it along with a list of your sins when you die. Wait, was I ..was it possible...was I dead? Oh sheesh.
He shifted beside me, turning to look into my face, you see I'd forgotten for a second he knows everything about me..my every thought, even dirt road housing association thoughts.
"Oh, you have so much to learn dear one, so much. It doesn't work like that. I don't work like that."
I blushed. In heaven. And wondered at that, you can blush in heaven. Sheesh.
I bounced bare footed on the pavement and turned to the One I love, "Can we go in, can we, can we, can we?"
Of course we could. That is why He brought me here, he had something to show me. I danced up the pavement to the big black door, marvelling at how the brass handle shone, and as I gripped it, and turned it to go in, I realised there was a big gold plaque on the door.
I read it.
WHAT? What is THIS? What is this DOING here? What does this MEAN?
A hand fell on my shoulder and He turned me and tilted my face up to His, until I looked into His limitless eyes of truth and endless burning love, "It is you. It is your name. It is how I think of you. You. You are beloved. You are My beloved. You. Just as you are. My beloved."
In that moment, all the theology I thought I understood up until that point was rocked. Destroyed. Ripped apart.
He didn't see me, and all my faults and sins when He saw me, He saw me...His Beloved.
I had a name in His heart and it was Beloved. Dearly Loved.
I have an admission to make...I wrote for more than five minutes on this one. I could not help myself. What I wrote here is part of an experience that I had over five years ago, an experience that rocked my world, where Jesus rocked my theology and beliefs about who He is and who I am.
As much as I have messed up since, this has remained true. I am His beloved. That has never changed. He has never stopped calling me HIS beloved. His Beloved Always.
Heart. Stopping. Goodness. That. Shatters. You.
And so, after the five minute mark I kept writing. I couldn't stop.
So...I am joining the Five Minute Fridays and Faith Filled Fridays parties with this blog entry...but I'll admit it, straight up, it took more than five minutes.
Have a fantastic weekend amazing people!